Vampiric Strip Poker
by Naddy
Summary: The Hellsing organisation was unusually quiet. The only sound to be heard was Walter serving Sir Integra her tea...ONE SHOT!


**Strip Poker**

The Hellsing organisation was unusually quiet. The only sound to be heard was Walter serving Sir Integra her tea.

"Sir Integra, your tea is ready." Said Walter entering the office.

"Walter, can you here that?" Asked Integra.

"No...Sir Integra i can't. I must be going deaf." Said Walter.

"No Walter it's not you. I can't here anything either, that's the problem." Said Integra frowning.

"What are you thinking?" Asked Walter.

"That, I'm going to have to pay a visit to the vampires and Pip. I want to make sure they're not up to anything bad." Said a worried Integra.

"As you wish Sir!" Said Walter leaving her alone.

* * *

Seras Victoria was bored, she has nothing to do. So she did the only thing she could think of, she decided to pay her master a visit. Seras knocked on the door that led into her masters room.

"Yes Police Girl come in." Said the Nosferatu.

Seras entered the room to find it dimly lit and her master sitting at a table playing Poker against Pip.

"Would you like to join in Police Girl?" Asked Alucard.

Seras was first shocked to see her master and the French Pig on hostile terms but decided not to question it.

"Yes please!" Said Seras as she sat Down next to her master.

As the rounds went on Seras figured out one thing, her master was a cheater. She had to work hard to keep him from seeing what cards she had. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on who's side your on, Pip wasn't as bright to see what the no Life King was doing. So Alucard was always able to tell what cards Pip had and sometimes what hand the Police Girl had. Weather by cheating or not Alucard had the biggest pile of chips then the other two.

"I fold, me too!" Said Pip and Seras going through another round.

* * *

"That's it i need to know what those three are up to!" Said Sir Integra finally snapping.

After countless times of wishing for quiet, finally having it wasn't as satisfying as she thought it'd be. On the contrary she was more worried then before.

"Walter, we're going to find out what those vampires and the French man are doing!" Said Integra dragging Walter behind he to the vampires quarters.

* * *

Pip was beginning to bore from the game so he decided to make an advancement.

"I Zink it iz time to up ze anti. Let's make zis game of poker into strip poker!" Said the perverted French man.

"Hm...i like the sounds of that, I'm in!" Said Alucard who had also became bored at the current stage of the game.

"Great well i have no choice since both of you want to, so i suppose i must." Said Seras reluctantly.

"Let the strip poker tournament begin!" Said Pip enthusiastically.

Several rounds later and Pip was sitting in his underwear, he had lost his shirt on the first round and his pants on the second. Seras had lost her shoes and socks and shirt. Alucard had lost his hat, glasses and coat.

* * *

Integra could hear the vampires and Pip in Alucard's room although she couldn't hear what they were saying she figured it was something bad. Suddenly she heard Seras shouting.

"Why do i have to lose my skirt and you get to keep your shirt on! We drew master, it's not fair!"

"Because Seras I'm the dealer and when there is a draw involving the dealer, the dealer always wins." Said Alucard calmly.

Seras roared in anger and frustration and it was then that Sir Integra and Walter burst though the door.

Needless to say Pip and Seras jumped in surprise. Alucard mealy batted an eye at his master and the Angel of Death.

"Master, Walter do come and join us. It's more fun when there's more people to beat!" Said Alucard.

"I must warn you Alucard i was the champ back in my days." Said Walter as he and Integra sat down to join in.

"Alucard, i am your master and i command you not to cheat." Said Integra.

Anyone would've been shocked to have walked into Alucard's room to see the Hellsing head, her retainer, Nosferatu and the French Pig with items of clothing missing.

The End

* * *

A/N: Guess who won in the end? I might tell you if ask nicely! 


End file.
